Starting in Matthew 5: 21, Jesus begins to talk about how we are supposed to handle our relationships with each other. Verses 21 through 26 can be summarized as Christ saying: “Be reconciled.” Let’s look at the whole passage:
You have heard that the ancients were told, “You shall not murder,” and “Whoever commits murder shall be answerable to the court.” But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be answerable to the court; and whoever says to his brother, “You good-for-nothing,’ shall be answerable to the supreme court; and whoever says, “You fool,” shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. Therefore, if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. Come to good terms with your accuser quickly while you are with him on the way to court, so that your accuser will not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you will not be thrown into prison. Truly I say to you, you will not come out of there until you have paid up to the last ‘quadrans.
Ok, that’s a mouthful. So, what does it mean? Why is it so bad to call someone a fool? Who is your brother? It’s a lot.
Ok, let’s start here: Who is your brother? I feel like it’s important to point out that culturally at the time, it was exceedingly rare for anyone to be indebted to or have a grudge with a woman. If this verse were being written in modern culture, it is highly likely that “or sister” would have been added. How can I be sure? Well, it comes down to how the word adelphos is used in the Bible. the word can have many definitions, but it is commonly throughout the New Testament used to reference a fellow believer. Women can certainly be fellow believers.
Now, it’s important to note that this reference brothers, not neighbors. While “neighbor” usually means anyone who you may come in contact with on any given day; brother (or sister) in this sense is referencing those with whom you have a relationship. It could reference a biological sibling. It could reference a fellow believer. It could reference extended family.
You may be thinking, “man, so I have to be reconciled with all of those people?” I know, it’s daunting, right? And why is calling your brother a fool so bad? That is more of an etymology issue. See, the word for fool here is mōros and it didn’t just mean “fool.” Culturally, it was a pretty significant insult. It wasn’t thrown around lightly. You wouldn’t have called someone this word unless it came from a place of hate. And if you let that kind of heart posture take root and eventually take control, well, Jesus makes it clear that you aren’t destined for His kingdom.
Then, we get into the command and it’s important to recognize what that command is. Verses 23 and 24 tell us:
Therefore, if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go, first be reconciled to your brother, and then come present your offering.
See where it says, “Tell everyone how your brother has wronged you and how they should be the one to apologize and reconcile with you because you are the one who is correct, not them.” Oh, wait…that’s not what it says. That’s because, as Christians, seeking reconciliation with our brothers is what we are commanded to do. We aren’t commanded to wait for our brothers (or sisters) to reconcile with us. We are commanded to initiate the reconciliation. It’s so important that, even in the middle of giving our offering, we are supposed to stop what we’re doing and go seek that reconciliation.
The modern dictionary defines “reconcile” as restoring something to a state of friendship or harmony. It’s possible to reconcile with someone and not remain friends, as long as you’ve restored harmony. Christ is teaching us here not to hold grudges because holding onto that kind of negativity puts our heart posture out of alignment with who Christ is and prevents us from joining in his mission.
Later in this cluster of verses, Christ instructs those listening to come to good terms with those who accuse us. Now, this is referencing debt, and coming to an agreement on how to pay that debt. But it doesn’t just apply to debt, especially in our modern culture. If we cause harm to someone either by not paying them what we’ve agreed to pay them, saying things about them that are untrue, or any other harm that might prompt someone to take legal action; as Christians, we are called to be the ones to make ammens.
There is no clarifier in this command that gives us the privilege of only doing these things when we are in the wrong. We’re told not to speak from a heart of hate. We are told to reconcile before making an offering to God. We are told to come to terms with those who accuse us. It doesn’t say “Whoever says, ‘You fool’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell unless it is said about the opposing political party.” It doesn’t say “Whoever says, ‘You fool’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell unless it is said about obvious sinners.” It doesn’t say “Whoever says, ‘You fool’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell unless it is said about someone who really deserved it.”
There. Is. No. Clarifier.
It doesn’t say to wait at the altar until your brother comes to reconcile with you. It says leave your offering and go to your brother. You are supposed to instigate the reconciliation. You. Not them.
It doesn’t say, “Slander your accuser so their claims won’t hold up in court.” It says, “Come to good terms with your accuser.” The person accusing you of whatever likely feels justified in it. Maybe you borrowed money and misunderstood it as a gift. Maybe someone gave them bad information about your character that needs to be corrected. Maybe you accidentally said something that was untrue and it’s caused them harm. The point is, it doesn’t matter why they are accusing you: it’s YOUR responsibility to seek reconciliation.
The only time we are not to seek reconciliation is when someone opposes us for our faith in Christ as our savior. Even then, however, we are still called to behave in such a way that the person who rises against us sees Christ through us.
So remember: no matter how justified your anger; don’t speak out of hate. No matter whose fault it is that reconciliation is needed, it is the follower of Christ who should initiate reconciliation. If there is someone with whom you need to seek reconciliation; don’t wait. Take some time, right now, and start the process.
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