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  • The Commands of Christ, Part Four

    Let your light shine before men…

    Matthew chapter 5 brings us a lot of Christ’s most famous teachings. It’s where we find what’s commonly referred to as “The Beatitudes (Matthew 5: 3-12). In fact, I debated and prayed about what to reference as part four of this series because in verse 12, Jesus says:

    Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great…

    And that can read as a command, but, for me, it’s more of a comfort than a command. It comes off the heels of Christ talking about being persecuted and insulted because of following Him.

    In verse 13, just after the Beatitudes, Jesus reminds us to stay salty

    You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again?

    While this is a good remind to keep to our faith and allow it to grow so that through us the world can taste a little better (figuratively, please don’t go biting random things), it’s not exactly a command. In verses 14 and 15, Jesus reminds us that we are the light of the world. He points out that you can’t hide a city on a hill and no one lights a lamp and then tries to hide its light. The whole point of lighting the lamp is so it can shine light on the house. Then, the command comes in at verse 16.

    Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

    In later verses, Jesus is going to tell us to pray in secret rather than for public show. So, what does he mean when he says to let our light shine? The key here, I believe comes toward the middle of the commandment. “…that they may see your good works…”

    Christianity is not a passive faith. It’s meant to be more than a Sunday morning thing. In fact, it’s meant to be more than “going to church.” Remember: the church is not a building, the church is the body of believers that meets inside the building. Every organ in the body serves a function, even the appendix (they discovered its purpose in 2007).

    In verse 15, Jesus comments that once lit, the lamp is put on a lampstand to give light to all who are in the house. So, when it comes to viewing Christianity as an active faith, not a passive one, who needs our light? Those who can’t see it. Nonbelievers, those who haven’t heard the full gospel are the first that come to mind but what about young believers looking for examples of how to behave as Christians?

    There’s an old Christian song by a band called DC Talk named “What if I stumble?” There’s a line in the song, where the writer askes, “What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?” I think for someone who genuinely loves God and wants to lead others to Him, that’s a natural question. I am ashamed to say, however, that I have often let my fear of that making Christ look bad prevent me from making Him look good.

    When you let your light shine, there are going to be those who knew you before your lamp was lit that make sure you know they know who you used to be. Own it. God already knows who you used to be. The difference is, God also knows who you are going to be. The dark doesn’t like being exposed. It can’t exist in God’s light, so if it can shame you into covering your light, it will.

    But, we also have to be mindful of how this command ends: “…and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”

    Here’s the balance: Be an active Christian. Look for where God is working in your community, in your church, in your day to day life. Ask Him for guidance on how he wants you to be a part of that. Adjust accordingly and take action. That’s the “good works” part. If you’re genuinely trying to bring glory to God through works; he’ll show you the works He wants you to do! The critical piece to remember is the works are about bringing glory to God, not to yourself.

    Here’s a small confession. At the time of this writing, I’m a digital marketer by trade and I’d like to think I’m pretty good at it. God has blessed me with a mind that is both creative and analytical. But I don’t use any of my SEO magic on this website. That’s intentional. If I try to make this website “seen” then it will stop being about God.

    I use these blogs to help me digest scripture. Yes, I type it out like it’s a message to someone, but that’s only because I don’t want to talk to myself (though when I read as I type, I sort of am, Hi, Me!). Writing has always helped me understand things better. You can call me crazy, but I’m only doing this online because I felt like God wanted me to. I have directly shared this site with exactly two people. I don’t even know if they’ll ever read it. I only share it when I feel like God is telling me to. One of those people is my pastor and the other is my prayer partner and Bible Study Buddy. They are the people who will hold me accountable if what I take from scripture is wrong or needs fine tuning.

    One of the things on social media that gets under my skin are the false prayer warriors who will show up in my feed, claim they are saying a prayer over people, but then say something along the lines of, “If you want this prayer to apply to you, you need to like, comment, subscribe, and share this with at least 3 people.” When you make claims like that, it’s not about God anymore. If God is the one providing the message and he wants it to be amplified, he’ll take care of it going viral in his own way.

    Here are the things I want to make sure you take away from this ramblefest:

    1. Let your light shine: Own your faith. Own the fact that God is still working on you. Be proud of being one of God’s people and don’t hide it. The answer God gives me every time “What if I stumble” resonates a little too hard in my soul is that it’s okay if I stumble, it’s okay if I fall because as they writer points out, He never turns in the heat of it all.
    2. Do Good works: Be an active Christian, not a passive one. Make an effort to see how God is working around you, seek guidance on how God wants you to participate, and then adjust your life and take action.
    3. Glorify God: Never make your good works about you. Do them in public, don’t hide them, but don’t publicize them or seek attention for them. You are doing them for God’s glory, not your own. You don’t need anyone to like/comment/subscribe if you’re doing God’s work. He will amplify the message according to His will.

    And Brian, if you ever read this, I want you to know that you helped relight my lamp and I am and always will be grateful for it.

  • An Uncomfortable Post

    This isn’t a post that I was planning on when I sat down to ramble about the Bible and what God is showing me through it today. I know, however, that if I don’t do this now, then I won’t. I’m like that sometimes, but especially about things that can make me uncomfortable.

    At the time of this writing, my family is struggling through several things. We have a daughter we are fostering and planning to adopt who is having some mental health issues. She is currently in detention for assaulting two paramedics during a breakdown where we needed to call the hospital because she’d ingested potentially toxic chemicals.

    Loving her hasn’t been difficult, even when her actions have been. I’m good at love. Loving those others have deemed too difficult to love has been my biggest strength throughout my Christian walk and while there is some stress with not knowing what will happen with her final hearing on the charges; I know that, eventually, she will come home. There may be some delays, but she will come home and she will know that when she was at her worst, the love of this family she is joining did not waiver.

    I know this time will reinforce the love I’ve always stated for my kids who became such through marriage to my wife. They don’t have my DNA, but they’re my kids. I’ve always told them that. I tell them constantly that I love them. They now will see through my love for this foster daughter just how deep my love goes.

    My biological son will see evidence of the truth I’ve told him since he was born; “You cannot mess up big enough that I will stop loving you.”

    And through all of this, God has been sending me a message; it’s rooted in scripture. Matthew 7:11 (NASB) reads:

    So if you, despite being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

    If I am capable of this level of love; unrelenting, unconditional, and ever-growing to meet the love need of the people who need it: how much more does my God love me! I do not doubt that my capacity for love is less than God’s. I do not doubt that the depth of my love is less than God’s. But in understanding the near-limitless depth of my love as a human, and knowing God’s is even greater, I will never fully comprehend just how much I am loved.

    But that is not what makes this uncomfortable to post. I’m wholly comfortable in my lack of understanding of the limits and depths of God’s love. It’s what gets me through times like the above and what I will share next.

    At the time of this writing, my family is struggling financially. I launched a business a couple years ago that started off doing well but is now struggling. Over the past year, I was barely able to pay myself and it put a lot of strain on my wife whose body does not react well to stress (lupus, fibromyalgia, and generalized fatigue as a lingering side effect from her chemo years ago). We are behind on our mortgage by several months and I’m genuinely terrified of losing the house and the impact that will have on our kids.

    I’m so scared of failing my family.

    To put it in Biblical terms; I feel like I’ve been casting my nets all day and coming back with nothing. And that, leads me to what God had to say to me today while I was reading His word.

    I was working on a post in my Commands of Christ deep dive that I’m doing for myself. I post it on here, but I’m not exactly under the impression that anyone is reading these rambles, so I do the bible studies mostly for me.

    Anyway, I was cross-referencing the different accounts of the first disciples across the Gospels as part of the post and there, in red letters in Luke 5 verses 4-6:

    When He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” Simon answered and said, “Master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing, but I will do as You say and let down the nets.” When they had done this, they enclosed a great quantity of fish and their nets began to break.”

    Jesus knew Simon (who would become Peter) was exhausted. He knew it Simon was frustrated. Did Simon bellyache? Yeah, he did. But he obeyed. He cast his nets out again and his nets almost burst from the result.

    I don’t know when. I don’t know how. But today, God told me that he’s got my worries and burdens handled. I just have to trust Him, put out into the deep, and cast my nets for a catch.

  • The Commands of Christ, Part Three

    Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of people.

    Ok, so today, we get to talk about the first disciples and the command that I’m not sure I’d have listened to. I think it’s easy to look at some of the teachings in from our perspective and think something along the lines of, “Well, it was Jesus, obviously they followed Him!” But neither Peter nor Andrew, James nor John, had the advantage of the Bible like we do.

    Matthew 4:19 (NASB 2020) reads:

    And He said to them, “Follow Me and I will make you fishers of people.”

    I want to take a brief moment to point out that some translations say “Fishers of men” and, in the language of the time, when referring to humanity as a whole man/men/mankind is what was commonly used. It’s not intended as exclusionary language.

    In Mark 1: 14, we see the same command again:

    And Jesus said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you become fishers of men.”

    In Luke, Chapter 5, we get a little bit more of the story than we do in the first two gospels. Jesus was teaching on the bank and borrowed Simon’s boat (Simon who would become Peter). He preached and taught and Simon listened. Then, in verse 4, Jesus says to Simon

    When He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let your nets for a catch.”

    We’re going to come back to that verse in particular at a later post because it deserves its own attention, but for the sake of this one, it’s important to note that Simon didn’t want to do it, but he did. In fact, in Verse 5, Simon replies

    Simon answered and said, “Master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing, but I will do as You say and let down the nets.”

    If you’ve read this passage before, you know that the nets almost burst from what they brought in. At this point, Simon who would become Peter knows. He doesn’t think he knows who is before him. He knows. In Verse 8 we see him cry out

    But when Simon Peter saw that, he fell down at Jesus’ feet, saying, “Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man!”

    While the story is somewhat less in John, we do learn in John that Simon Peter’s brother, Andrew, had heard John the Baptist speak and then listened to Jesus. Andrew also knew. He believed it so much that he went and found his brother to make sure he shared the good news. John 1:41-42

    He found first his own brother Simon and said to him, “We have found the Messiah.” He brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, “You are Simon the son of John; you shall be called Cephas” (which is translated Peter)

    So while Luke and John don’t really have the “follow me” command, the spirit of the command is in both gospels. Now, at the top of this post, I mentioned that these people didn’t have the benefit of the Bible like we do. They didn’t have the benefit of the Holy Spirit to reveal God’s truth to them like we do.

    I am the youngest of three siblings. My brother, the middle child, and I had a bit of a sibling rivalry growing up (and I word it that way because I don’t want to say mean things about him on the internet, I’ve matured since childhood). I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I had gone to my brother and said, “Bro, I have met the Messiah, and he’s awesome and I want you to meet him too.” I’d have been met with jeers, jokes, and a being shoved in the dryer. He wouldn’t have believed me.

    Sometimes, I wonder if Jesus were to come back today and I had the same level of conviction that Peter and the rest of the disciples had that He was who He said He was; who would I tell first? But that is what it means to be fishers of people. A core command of following Christ is sharing Him. It’s a part that we tend to dilute with worry about offending people or respecting boundaries. But it’s part of the job.

    I do not know a lot about fishing, but I know that different fish prefer different bait. I think a lot of being a fisher of people is the same. Some of the lost are going to look at our actions and if they don’t see us behaving in a way to aligns with what Christians claim Christ was all about, they aren’t going to bite. Some of the lost are going to want to listen to our words and testimonies and that will be enough to plant a seed. Others are going to be like that annoying fish who always takes my bait (I’m not a good fisherman, full disclosure). They’re going to question and hit the line repeatedly and only persistently casting in the water is going to get them hooked.

    I do not do the best job casting my line. I am often silent when I feel like God would be better served to speak. More often than not, it’s because I am so very scared that my words will push people away from Christ rather than draw them in. I worry that my example will push people away. I am so worried that I’ll say or do the wrong thing, that I freeze.

    Then, God reminds me that Moses hated talking in public and said he was bad at it. Peter tried to shoo Jesus away because he was acutely aware of his own sins. Jesus gave Simon a different name because Simon wasn’t that person anymore. He was God’s now.

    See, the command here is simple: “Follow me, and I will make you what I need you to be.”

    If you’re a Christian and worried that your capabilities aren’t enough, God will make you what he needs you to be. You just have to follow Him. He will lead the way.

    If you’re not a Christian and want to know what it’s like to follow Christ, let me start by telling you what it’s not. It’s not a magical prayer that suddenly fixes everything wrong in your life. It’s a relationship with God who will shape and mold you into the best possible version of yourself. Most of that process will be uncomfortable. Some of that process will hurt, but every time you lack back at where you were from where you are, you’ll look up in gratitude knowing that God put you in a better place through the process.

  • The Commands of Christ, Part Two

    Repent, for the kingdom of Heaven is at hand.

    As this series is focused on the commands Christ gave the church, I’m intentionally skipping over the responses Christ gives to the devil when he is in the desert facing temptation. While that experience is important to the nature of Jesus gives examples of using scripture to rebuke the enemy; the words spoken in that section aren’t commands given to people. I think that distinction is important to make.

    With that in mind, we arrive at Matthew 4:17 (NASB)

    From that time Jesus began to preach and say, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

    Repent is a hard one for some folks. First, let’s handle the etymology. As the New Testament was primarily written in Greek, we need to understand the word choice Matthew uses here. The Greek word used is metanoia. Meta meaning “after” or “change” and noia meaning “mind.”

    Meanwhile, the word repent comes from an old French word, repentir, which means to feel regret and stems from that Latin word paenitere, meaning to regret or feel sorry. The Latin root, poena, means punishment. This creates a big chasm between how we’ve been taught to repent versus what Jesus is actually telling us to do.

    So, let’s get this clear:

    Repentance is not an apology or feeling guilty for your sin. Repentance is allowing God to transform you and fundamentally change who you are, allowing you to turn away from sin and pursue God instead.

    To be a little more blunt: if nothing in your life changed, you didn’t repent. If you’re still clinging to things that you know draw you away from God rather than draw you closer to him, you didn’t repent. If your mind didn’t change, if there was no transformation, you didn’t repent.

    Here’s the good news, though. Repentance is easy and God does most of the work. We will always struggle with sin, it’s part of being human, but when we repent, we stop using being human as a justification for continuing in sin and start using God’s word as a shield to help prevent us from sinning.

    There will always be temptation. When you feel that temptation starting to build, you have three choices. You can give in and satisfy whatever is tempting you. You can lie to yourself and tell yourself that you’re strong enough to resist, knowing you will eventually fail. Lastly, and the option I recommend, you can pray. God already knows you’re tempted. But when you feel the temptation creeping in and you take it to God because you don’t want that sin in your life anymore: that’s what repenting looks like.

    Jesus didn’t come to sacrifice Himself and rise again just to make us feel bad and apologize. He did so to give us an option to pursue God instead of sin, to let us live for something greater than ourselves. Each morning, when I pray, I ask God to protect me from myself and from the enemy. I know that my flesh does not crave God, but my heart does. My soul does. I’d like to tell you my mind does, but that’s where the flesh does its work.

    When I was teaching English in China, part of my teaching training was learning about the power of immersion learning. I would instruct my students to surround themselves with things they enjoyed but were in English instead of Mandarin. If they loved basketball, they should listen to the English commentary. If they watched the news and couldn’t get local news in English, they should put the subtitles in English. I told them to listen to English music. Because the more they surrounded themselves with their target language, the easier it would be to learn it.

    Christianity works in much the same way. While some may argue that profanity isn’t a sin; is it really the kind of language you think Christ would use? If not, don’t talk that way. It’s fine to have a love for music, but is the message in the lyrics you’re singing along to one that draws you closer to Jesus? It’s fine to be politically active, but are you prioritizing God’s message over your political party’s agenda?

    See, what Jesus was telling us to do was to change who we were. That’s not something any of us can do on our own. Repenting is giving up everything about who we are to God and allowing Him to remake us how he sees fit. It’s scary, but it’s what we’re called to do.

    Sometimes, God works slowly, allowing that change to progress over time. Sometimes, God works quickly and pulls the rug out from under us because we need to crack our thick skulls on the floor a couple of times to get the message (that’s me more often than I’d care to admit). Letting go of that control and giving it to God is one of my biggest struggles.

    Here’s my challenge to you: Think of your favorite thing to do. Ask yourself this question: If God told me, in a crystal-clear voice, to stop doing this, could I? Any activity you can’t say “Yes” to on this question is something that has a bigger hold on your heart and mind than God.

    A walk with God is, in its most fundamental state, the process of allowing Him to eliminate who we are in favor of who He wants us to be. If you’re not allowing Him that level of access in your life, you need to repent because the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

  • The Commands of Christ, Part One

    Okay, I know you’re probably expecting something profound here and, while to me, it is, it might not feel that way to you at first. That’s okay. Before I dive into it, however, I want to make sure to cover one key detail: this blog series is intended to cover direct commandments from Jesus. I’ll be looking at the words in red in my NASB 2020 Bible. I won’t be looking at implied commands and instructions, only the moments where Jesus specifically tells His followers to do something or to live a certain way. I think this is important.

    What is the First Command of Christ?

    If you’re reading the New Testament starting in Matthew, the first time you see those good ole “words in red” is in Matthew chapter 3, verse 15. We’re going to look at 13-17 for context.

    Then Jesus arrived from Galilee at the Jordan coming to John, to be baptized by him. But John tried to prevent Him saying, “I have need to be baptized by You, and do you come to me?” But Jesus answering said to him, “Permit it at this time; for in this way it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.” Then he permitted Him. After being baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and behold the heavens were opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending as a dove and lighting on Him, and behold, a voice out of the heavens said, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.”

    Let’s take a look at Jesus’ words here:

    Permit it at this time; for in this way it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.

    So when we read the full context, this is the story of Jesus getting baptized. John the Baptist wanted to refuse what Jesus was asking him to do. John makes it clear when he says, “I have need to be baptized by You,” that he doesn’t feel worthy. This is John the Baptist and HE doesn’t feel worthy?! But see, John walked with God and when our spirit is aligned with God, we don’t feel worthy. When we acknowledge that God is Holy, and pure, and righteous, and we see the gap between what He is and what we can never be; a little bit of feeling unworthy is only natural.

    But let it sink in for a minute that Jesus said, “Permit it at this time.” That’s bigger than you might think. I’ve heard preachers go a full sermon on why baptism is important. The fact that the first time act of Christ’s ministry was being baptized shouldn’t be lost on anyone. I think there is, perhaps, a more profound teaching that comes from this command.

    At some point in your Christian walk; God is going to ask you to do something you feel unworthy of doing.

    There are countless times in the Old Testament (take a look at Moses’s early ministry, for example) where prophets openly told God that they didn’t feel unworthy; but this is the first time in the New Testament that we have a person who had a strong reputation for serving God (even if it didn’t make him well-liked but some religious groups) say he’s unworthy.

    But what does Jesus, the one that John knows came to literally be the savior of humankind, say to John: “Permit it at this time.” Then, John pushes those feelings of unworthiness aside. John knows he’s looking at the Son of God. He’s known Jesus was the Son of God since before either of them were born (which is a really cool story). John then does the uncomfortable thing Jesus asked him to do.

    Then, as soon as both are aligned in God’s will. Both do the thing that Jesus knows God needed done:

    This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased

    See, John could have still refused. He could have doubled down on how unworthy he felt for the task God had put at his feet. Matthew doesn’t give us an exact number of how many people were watching. But in verses 5 and 6 we see

    Then Jerusalem was going out to him, and all of Judea and all the district around the Jordan; and they were being baptized by him in the Jordan River, as they confessed their sins.

    Based on that, I think it’s pretty safe to assume it wasn’t a small number. This not-small-number of people got to see something jaw-dropping because of John’s obedience. They got to see the very first proof of who Jesus was. They got to hear the voice of God state that this was His son and in Him, God was well-pleased.

    If John had doubled-down on his unworthiness and continued to refuse to do the thing Christ was asking of him; they’d have all missed that moment. Now, let’s make this a little more personal.

    I have not gone a day of my Christian walk feeling worthy of the grace and love I receive from God. I don’t think I ever will. I also don’t think I’m supposed to. Jesus’ baptism kicked off his entire ministry. How many people do you think became ready to accept Him for who he was because of that moment?

    God is going to ask you to do things that take you out of your comfort zone. I have no business writing this blog. I’m not a scholarly theologian. I got my writing start falling in love with fantasy novels and wanting to create them. The extend of my studies come from my bible and the preachers who I’ve been lucky enough to have guide parts of my walk. I’m not as faithful in writing it as I should be because sometimes, I just feel so unworthy. I have to remind myself, God never asked me to be worthy.

    The first command of Christ wasn’t, “Go and make yourself worthy.” The first command of Christ was “Permit it at this time.” Jesus needed John to be willing, not worthy. Isn’t that awesome?

    No matter what life you’ve lived until now. It doesn’t matter if you’re not a Christian, a new Christian, a “Good Christian,” a super-flawed Christian (like me), a jaded Christian on the verge of a gap, or anything else. It. Doesn’t Matter. God doesn’t need you to be worthy; God needs you to be willing.

    If you’re not a Christian but you feel God calling you to be one of His people, welcome to the family! I’ll be honest, there might be times that people in this family let you down, but God will not. Remember that. How do you join up? It’s pretty simple, you don’t even have to learn a secret handshake! Here are the steps:

    1. Say a prayer acknowledging who God is, that you know He sent His son, Jesus, to carry the burden of our sins, to die on a cross and then rise again to build a bridge that gives us a way back to God. If you need help with that; something like this might work: “God, I need You in my life and I am so grateful You don’t require me to be worthy to have You. I believe that You sent your Son Jesus to die for my sins and to be resurrected so that I could have a relationship with You. I want be part of Your works. I am willing.” Feel free to make that prayer your own, customize it to fit you. Share it with a friend if God has asked you to do so.
    2. Find a local church. The first church you find may or may not be the one God wants you at permanently. Don’t worry, He’ll let you know. Ask for Him to guide you and He will. He may have you at one church body for your entire walk and He may send you to several.
    3. Ok, so this is the important part. When you find that church, it does not matter if you think it’s the one God has intended for you to stay at for a while or not; but tell the preacher/pastor/priest, whatever the minister is called and tell him your good news. “Hey, I found this random weirdo on the internet rambling about the first command of Christ and I found out that I don’t have to be worthy, I just have to be willing. I prayed this prayer and told God I wanted to be a part of His family and to do His work.” Or, you know, however you would word it. But tell somebody that can help you get started and mentor your walk. Hopefully, they’ll help you get baptized as well (if even Jesus did it before starting his ministry, so should you).
    4. And now the hard part that I fail at more than I care to admit: tell everybody. It’s okay to start small. You can start by telling people you love and people you know love you. Then, slowly expand. Small steps forward are still steps forward.
    5. As you tell everybody, read your Bible. Don’t have one, they’re pretty cheap on Amazon. I really like the NASB 2020 edition; but it’s not for everyone (I prefer the more literal translation it aims for, but it’s probably not the right translation for a new Christian because it doesn’t have the best flow and readability in places). The pastor at the church I attend currently likes to say that the best translation is the one you’ll pick up and read. It’s good advice.
    6. Here’s where I’ll get a little controversial. Even if you don’t currently feel that you have the time to read daily; pray daily. Start every morning off with prayer. God did so much to have a relationship with you and you just told Him you wanted one with Him. You build that relationship by talking to God. It doesn’t have to be formal. You can talk to him as casually as you like. But talk to him every day. Multiple times a day is okay. I try to start my day with an earnest prayer. I say what I like to call “micro prayers” as they day goes by. I try to end my day with prayer to thank God for putting up with me. A daily relationship with God will make your best days better and your worst days bearable.

    If you’re already a Christian but haven’t been baptized; do it. I’m not going to type out a whole extra blog within this blog to explain why you should. It should be enough for you that Jesus started his ministry by being baptized and that if we agree on nothing else, we agree that we are supposed to be trying to follow His example. I’m not going to argue about full immersion baptism versus head sprinkles (at least not here). However your church does it, that’s good enough to get started.

    For those of us who have been called, been baptized, who know God is wanting you to do a thing that you’re uncomfortable doing (looking at YOU, man in the mirror!). Friend, if you feel even a quarter as unworthy as I do to be doing God’s work and sharing His message, I get it. Make a commitment with me now to permit it anyway. Here’s part of my morning prayer that you can adapt to your own:

    “Heavenly Father, You are holy, mighty, and true. The creator of all things and for reasons I’ll never fully understand, You make the decision to love me when I’m at my best and even more when I’m at my worst. No words of gratitude will ever fully express how grateful I am to be able to have this relationship with You. Today father, show me Your will and how I can adjust my life to be a part of it. Send my feet where You want me to go. Use my words to speak Your message. Use my hands to do Your work. In the name of my savior, Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit I pray, Amen.”

  • What Does God Want From You?

    One of my favorite verses in the Old Testament comes from Jeremiah, chapter 29 verses 11-12 (NASB):

    “For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me and I will listen to you.”

    Just prior to this verse, God, through Jeremiah, is telling Israel that they will spend 70 years in exile in Babylon, but even that time of suffering is part of his plan to make them better. Maybe that seems unfair or manipulative, but if you feel that way, I encourage you to look at all the healthy boundaries God had previously set and Israel ignored, but that’s not what I feel called to make this post about.

    Trusting that even in your most difficult times, God is working for your welfare is can be hard. I have never been a subscriber to what you might hear called “prosperity gospel” which teaches that if your faith is strong enough and your works good enough, you’ll see worldly success. Throughout his teachings, Jesus tells us not to focus on worldly things, so that has never added up for me. I’m also not a fan of what I call “despair gospel” which is teaching that we’re all horrific by nature and are only capable of good through God. I structure my beliefs around what I call “companionship Gospel.” I’ll get to that definition later.

    In my own walk, I’ve asked God the question, “What do You want from me?” many times, but also in different ways. That’s what I want to discuss with you in this post.

    What Do You Want from Me, God! (The Angry Version)

    I have been angry at God, and I think that’s a very human thing to do. That doesn’t mean it’s right, but it does mean that if you’ve also been angry with God, He’s not going to hold it against you. My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma early in our marriage. We fought through that and I remember when we went through a relapse scare. I looked up to the heavens and told God that if He took her, I wouldn’t forgive Him. That was wrong and while I’ve repented from that sin, it still haunts me. In my anger, my heart was shouting, “What do You want from me, God!”

    It took me realizing I was asking the question to be able to hear the answer. That may sound silly, but I didn’t realize I was asking the question at first, because I wasn’t using those exact words. Once my heart was ready, the answer was pretty clear: God wanted me to trust Him to get my family through the crisis that was about to unfold. He wanted me to trust that my best friend was still there, still holding my hand, still making sure that I made it through anything; that He was constantly working toward my welfare, not my despair.

    God always forgave Israel when they would get mad, when they would question, when they would stray. He forgives us too if we ask. That doesn’t free us from causality because every choice we make has a result that follows, but it does mean that God shields us from the worst of it.

    There wasn’t a recurrence, just for the record. God was using that one moment to show me just how much I loved my wife and the children she brought with her into our blended family. God doesn’t get mad at us for being human, even when our nature causes us to question Him. If we listen, however, even in our anger, God will tell us or show us how He is working for our welfare.

    What Do You Want from Me God? (The Distraught Version)

    Remember Job? When I was young, I always though Job got a raw deal. Here was a guy who was literally described as God’s favorite, but God allowed him to undergo trials that nearly destroyed his life. As an adult, I don’t think the lesson of Job comes from how God restored everything Job lost and gave him more exceeding what he lost. I think the lesson of Job comes from how Job, when he felt he’d lost it all, asked God “What did I do wrong?”

    Job knew despair and when it came into his life it was so foreign he thought he’d made God angry. He went through an angry phase, demanding answers, and then he wallowed in despair wondering why he didn’t just perish at birth if this was to be his life now. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve had that thought. It’s not a nice one to have in your head.

    Job learned through his trials who stood by his side because they cared for him and who stood by his side because he had wealth and influence. Job got the same answer that God still gives today, the same answer we see in Jeremiah: “Trust me, I am working toward your welfare.”

    By the end of Job, we see him restored. We see his “friends” that ridiculed and belittled him, accusing him of things he did not do get rebuked. We see God affirm Job’s righteousness. Ultimately, Job said, “Ok, I trust you,” (paraphrasing here) and God showed Job that sometimes, his plans exceed our understanding.

    What Do You Want from Me, God? (The Submissive Version)

    I can honestly say that this is my favorite way I’ve ever asked God this question and I try to make it the only way I ask Him this question in my current walk.

    When I began rebuilding my walk with God and He directed me to the body of believers He wanted me to be a part of, I asked this question daily. “I want to serve You, Lord; what do You want from me?” Eventually, not being sure where He was leading me to serve, I looked up and told God, “The next door You open for me to do Your work, I will walk through without question.” That same week, I walked into Wednesday night service and my pastor said, “You want to go build a house in Mexico this summer?”

    I had absolutely no idea how I was going to pay for the trip. I had absolutely no idea how my zero experience in construction was going to be useful in any way. I had no idea how I could make a positive impact on the trip, but I knew what I had told God. So, I said, “yes.” My pastor didn’t know I’d been praying about this until after he’d asked the question.

    Next, it was me telling God, “I said, yes, but I have no clue how I’m going to afford it.” God replied, telling me not to worry about the money, He had a plan. Just a couple weeks before the deadline, the plan came through. I told God, “I said yes, but I’m not going to have a clue what I’m doing.” God replied, telling me He didn’t need my skills for this mission trip, He just needed my willingness to go. He’d handle the rest. Each day there was a task that was suitable for me to handle.

    Then came the big one: one of the leaders for the mission trip asked if I’d lead a devotion on the first night of the trip. “God, I have no idea how I’m going to do this.” That gentle reminder, “I just need you to be willing, I’ll handle the rest.”

    My favorite memories as a Christian, and probably as a human, all come from the moments I looked up to God with a servant’s heart and genuinely, eagerly asked, “What do you want from me, God?” Asking this question with a servant’s heart has allowed God to work in and through me in ways I’d have never thought and that brings me both joy and peace.

    What Do You Want from Me, God? (The Repentant Version)

    I have no way of knowing if the people (if any) who read this blog know God already or not. I don’t know where you’re at with your walk or where you’re at with your life. I just want you to know that no matter where you are, if you’re asking, “What do You want from me, God?” with a repentant heart because you know you need Him in your life but you feel like you’re too far gone to come back or too far gone to start your journey: you’re wrong. And being wrong about that is the best news I get to share.

    Earlier, I talked about prosperity gospel and despair gospel and said we’d get to companionship gospel, which is the version that I believe with all my heart. God didn’t need to create humankind. He wanted to. He chose to make us in His image. He chose to walk with Adam and Eve in the garden and He chose to give us a path back to Him after the first sin created a gap we couldn’t cross on our own.

    If you’re asking God what He wants from you with a repentant heart, that answer is pretty easy: He wants you to let Him wrap His arms around you and He wants you to let Him love you. He wants you to build a relationship with Him. He wants you to live in His house and His ways so He can extend His protection around you. He wants you to let Him lead the way and for you to trust Him when He says He is working for your welfare, not calamity, so you can have a future and hope.

    He wants that relationship with you so badly that He sent Jesus, part of Himself, to die and rise again so there could be a cross-shaped bridge spanning the gap sin created. He wants it so badly He sends us the Holy Spirit so we can have a conduit directly to Him. He’s loving enough to never force it, but that relationship is what He wants and has wanted since He planned for you to exist in this world. We don’t earn God’s love and we don’t earn salvation. It’s a gift. It’s not something anyone deserves. Since we didn’t earn it and we didn’t do things to deserve it, we never lose the invitation to reach up, grab the Father’s hand and start a relationship with Him.

    Starting that relationship with God couldn’t be easier. Just humbly tell Him, “God, I believe that You sent Your son, Jesus, to die and rise again so there would be a way for me to come back to You. I want a relationship with You. I want to know You and I want to serve You. I want to give You what You want from me; my love, my heart, my soul, and my trust. Use my words to share Your word and my hands to do Your work. In the name of Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, I pray, Amen.”

  • Fighting the Second Gap (and the ones after it)

    If you’ve read my testimony on this site, you know that there was a long while that I stopped going to church and stopped surrounding myself with fellow believers. Looking back, it’s clear that the events leading to my departure from organized religion were both part of God’s design and part of the enemy’s.

    1 Peter 5:8 (NASB 2020) tells us:

    Be sober of spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

    While the devil will never be equal with God, and he can’t harm you directly, he will do whatever he can to douse a believer who has potential to be on fire for God with water to take that fire away. This can come in many different forms, but ultimately, it comes down to one goal: to make your witness for God ineffective. That’s where I was. Sometimes, if I’m honest, I feel I’m still there, but the difference between then and now is I’m trying. I’m not always trying as hard as I should, but I’m trying.

    For many Christians, myself included, once we’ve overcome the first gap, we are faced with a second, a third, sometimes more. These are the moments in our lives that we stop walking with God. That doesn’t mean our salvation is taken from us, but it does mean that we stop moving closer to God, receiving more and greater portions of His blessings and protection. The first step to fighting these gaps is to identify the type of gap you’re in.

    Gap Type 1: A Stall Along the Way

    I know more Christians who have had stalls along the way than I know Christians who haven’t. Unfortunately, it’s very easy to take our eyes of God. Between when I created this site and when I wrote this blog, I did it. I genuinely felt called to make this site, but allowed myself to prioritize other things rather than write here, where I felt God had asked me to write.

    How do I know it’s just a stall?

    Ask yourself two questions:

    1. Do I still love God and believe that He is working to do good things in my life like He promised in the Bible?
    2. Do I have a desire to get up and start moving closer to God once again?

    If your answer to both is “yes” then you are caught in a stall, but you haven’t turned your back on God. It’s okay to feel ashamed of a stall, but understand that God is eagerly waiting for you to stand up and start walking toward Him again. God is just, but he is also merciful. Time and time again in the Bible, we see Jesus heal the broken. When our walk stalls, he wants to heal us too.

    How do I get out of a stall?

    The honest answer is that some stalls are far easier to get out of than others. But I think the best Biblical example comes from Matthew 9:6-7 (NASB 2020)

    …then He said to the paralytic, “Get up, pick up your bed and go home.” And he got up and went home.

    Walking with God isn’t easy. It’s a constant refining process where we allow the Holy Spirit to identify to us the sins we commit the most and work on doing those less to bring ourselves more and more in line with the example of Christ. You need to believe two things to get out of a stall:

    1. God still loves me and wants to work in and through me.
    2. I still love God and want to pursue a life pleasing to Him.

    If you aren’t sure you believe those two simple sentences, then you may not be in a stall. You may be in either a conflict of faith or you may be in the process of blaspheming the Holy Spirit.

    Gap Type 2: A Conflict of Faith

    If you find yourself contemplating, “Is God real?” or “Do I really believe the Gospel of Christ?” or similar questions, you are likely in the middle of a conflict of faith.

    Remember: roaring lion. There is no shortage of options the enemy can use to try to convince you that your faith isn’t real, that your faith never was real, and/or you really don’t need a relationship with a made up character from a centuries old book. I will always find it amusing that some people find it easier to believe in “The Universe” sending them messages, but those same people scoff at the idea of God and the story of Jesus.

    When you’re in a conflict of faith, it is going to go one of two ways. It will either turn into a stall that you can come back from or it will end in blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. That’s what makes a conflict of faith dangerous.

    Where is your conflict coming from?

    When I was training to be a TEFL teacher (Teaching English as a Foreign Language), I learned the power of immersion learning. The more you surround yourself with a target language, the easier that language becomes to think in and to speak in. We encouraged English learners to listen to English music, watch their favorite shows with English audio, and to speak in English as often as possible. The students that did this always outperformed the students who didn’t.

    If you want to understand where your conflict of faith is coming from, ask yourself: “What am I surrounding myself with?”

    If you’re spending more time being in and of the world, slowly, that’s going to become your instinctive behavior and draw you farther from the Father. Remember, Romans 12:2 tells us:

    And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

    If you’re not surrounding yourself with things God would consider good and acceptable, the influences you are surrounding yourself with are going to guide you away from Him.

    I am having a conflict of faith and the church is the reason why

    If this is you, I have been there. I want to assure you of one thing: the church is not a building, it is a body of believers. It is entirely possible for individuals in that body to cause harm to other believers. It’s not supposed to happen, but it does. There is not a perfect person drawing breath today.

    Start by identifying why the church you are attending is drawing you away from God. Is it because of cliques and petty in-fighting? Find a new place to worship God. If the group you’re surrounding yourself with is more concerned with politics, power, and status than they are about pleasing God and showing His love to others, that’s not what God instructs us to be. It’s okay to leave a toxic church and find a new one.

    If, however, you’re uncomfortable with the message the pastor/preacher is presenting that can be something a little more difficult to decipher. The Bible makes us uncomfortable sometimes. In Luke 14:26-28, Jesus says:

    If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?

    Jesus gave these instructions because he knew what was going to happen to his followers. He knew there was persecution coming. He knew there would be families torn apart. He knew there would be sacrifices that could not be avoided if someone truly wanted to follow Him. In Matthew 22:36-37, Jesus is asked about the greatest commandment and makes it clear.

    “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” and He said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.”

    Part of loving God with all your being is not going places or being around people who would belittle you for pursuing a relationship with Him, even if those people are your family. Jesus was never asking for people who already hate their families to follow Him. He was letting people know that He has to come first, even above your family and friends. It’s an uncomfortable part of the Bible because it often shows a shortcoming. I struggle with this especially because of how much I love my family.

    Here’s why I bring this up. If your pastor/preacher is teaching something that makes you uncomfortable, first check to see if he’s teaching you something biblical. Read 2 or 3 different interpretations of the verse from different translations. Get a study guide on it. Most of all; pray to God about why it’s making you uncomfortable. Sometimes, a message making you uncomfortable is God’s way of calling out a sin in your life that you haven’t let go of (mine was, and often is, a mix of pride and control). Sometimes, though I’d like to believe it less frequent than the other, someone is masquerading as a person of God when they are really being used by the enemy. This is why I believe that above all, your relationship with God is meant to be personal.

    Gap 3: When a Conflict of Faith Becomes Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit

    Matthew 12:31-32 (NASB)

    Therefore I say to you, any sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the Spirit shall not be forgiven. Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it shall be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it shall not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come.

    Mark 3:28-29 (NASB)

    Truly I say to you, all sins shall be forgiven the sons of men, and whatever blasphemies they utter; but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin.”

    The Bible doesn’t give us a clean, concise definition of what it means to blaspheme the Holy Spirit. So we have to look at this in two parts.

    What is the Holy Spirit?

    John 14:16 tells us:

    I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.

    The Holy Spirit is the conduit that connects us to God through Jesus. It is what God uses to speak to our hearts and our minds so that he can guide us and show us the path he would have us to follow. Sometimes, it’s subtle. Sometimes, it’s a fog horn. But is always a conviction on our heart of something we know God is asking us to do or accomplish.

    What is Blasphemy?

    If you Google that question, you’ll get an answer that says something along the lines of, “an insult that shows contempt, disrespect or lack of reverence.” You’ll also find “to speak sacrilegiously about a deity” as a definition. Biblically, sacrilege refers to violating and desecrating holy places and things or misusing what is dedicated to God.

    Based on these, definitions, I believe there are two ways to blaspheme the Holy Spirit.

    Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit through Denial

    There’s a thing Jesus likes to say throughout the gospel, “Those who have ears, let them hear. Those who have eyes, let them see.” (Paraphrasing a little) I believe that when you convince yourself, beyond any and all doubt, that there is no Holy Spirit that allows you to speak to God and allows God to speak to you, you have committed shown contempt and disrespect.

    Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit through Outspoken Misdirection

    This is when you not only have denied the Spirit for yourself, but you are also actively trying to get others to deny it. If you value your walk with God, stay away from people like this.

    It is my genuine hope that if you are reading this, you are simply curious and not in a gap. If you are, I hope that it is either a stall or a conflict of faith that has yet to turn into a blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. If you need help getting out of it; I highly recommend prayerhelps.online.

  • Overcoming the First Gap

    The First Temptation and The First Sin

    There are lot of folks who gloss over what the first sin really is, so I think it’s important I start this off by making it clear that while the first sin may have involved fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, the first sin wasn’t, technically speaking, eating the fruit. The first sin, and what I think is the most common one we still commit today, was disobedience.

    Genesis chapter 2, verses 15 through 17 (NASB) tells us:

    Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.

    See, God gave that instruction directly to Adam. And while later verses will make it clear that the instruction was shared with Eve, both of them actively chose to disobey. It was a willful choice that created a chasm that separated humankind from God and still does to this day. It wasn’t eating the fruit that was wrong, there were other trees and other fruits that were fine. It was disobeying God’s command. It was when Adam and Eve chose themselves over honoring God. That selfish nature that we’re all born with, that’s the evidence of the sin debt we’ve inherited.

    So, why’d they do it? The first sin gets a lot of air time in, but the first temptation doesn’t. See, the serpent didn’t slither up to Eve and say, “Come on, just a little disobedience isn’t so bad.” Genesis chapter 3, verses 4 and 5 help us see it clearly

    The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

    “You can be like God” was the first temptation. It’s true to say that we were all created in God’s image, but that doesn’t mean we were created to be his equals. When He created humankind, God gave us dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and the cattle, and all the earth, and over every creeping thing. We answered only to God. We weren’t created to be his equals. And, in Isaiah chapter 43, God speaks through the prophet to tell us

    Everyone who is called by My name, and whom I have created for My glory, whom I have formed, even whom I have made.

    It’s pretty clear that we’re not meant to be equal with God. The first temptation was that we could be, that we should be. The first sin was disobedience. When they could have had anything, Adam and Eve chose the one thing God had said “no” about.

    There’s a quote I like from Will Smith. In an interview he said, “It’s not your fault when you experience trauma, but it is your responsibility to overcome it and choose your happiness.” Take that to heart, and this as well. The sin debt you were born with. The chasm that separates you from God, it’s not your fault. It is, however, once you realize that gap is there, once you hear the Good News for the first time, your responsibility to make things to repair that relationship.

    Repairing Our Relationship with God was Impossible, Until it Wasn’t

    I know, that heading is a little confusing, but it’s the most accurate way to describe things. The Old Testament of the Bible is a chronicle of God refusing to give up on his people. He gave us laws to help us live amongst each other and we didn’t follow them. He gave his people prophets and judges, but they demanded a king. He gave his people kings, and, eventually, those kings took them on a journey away from God. But we know from the book of John, chapter 3, verses 16 and 17 (you’re probably familiar with 16)

    For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world but that the world might be saved through Him.

    No matter how hard Israel tried in the Old Testament to set things right, they always found a way to go astray again. That’s us too, unfortunately. That’s why God sent the Holy Spirit to guide us. He sent it to be that voice in our ear to let us know God’s will for us and when we’re not following it like we should. The way for the Holy Spirit was paved by Jesus and through Jesus and the Holy Spirit, the impossible path back to a relationship with God isn’t impossible anymore. See, it was impossible, until it wasn’t.

    Carpenter, Bridge Builder, Savior

    If you’ve made it this far into this rambling, you probably have a general idea who Jesus is but, just in case, Jesus is the Son of God, the Son of Man, 100% God and 100% human and 100% exactly who we needed. He had these really great friends, 12 to be specific (though maybe one of them wasn’t so great a friend, but that’s another story). He walked with them, He taught them about God and how to honor and worship him. If I envy one thing above all else, it’s that I won’t know what it’s like to get a sweet high-five from Jesus until I make it to heaven and while it’s not in the Bible that any of the disciples did, my head and heart tell me they did.

    Jesus was born knowing exactly what was expected of him. He was born knowing that He was going to take all of the sin debt that generations had passed down and would pass down, put it on his own shoulders, and then do what no lamb, no pair of doves, no sacrificial bull could ever do: wipe it all away. He gave up His life, willingly, so that we could give our lives to Him and, in doing so, have a path across the sin gap and rebuild a relationship with God. Then, He rose from the grave, showing us that He was who He claimed and that death had no power over the Son of God. There’s a lot that happened between Jesus’ birth and His death. There’s a lot that happened between His resurrection and His ascension. We’ll talk about those eventually, I’m sure.

    Before the sin gap was created, God walked with us and He talked with us and He had a relationship with us. We were His friends. After Adam and Eve created the gap, God sent His son, born of humble beginnings, a carpenter, to build a bridge so we could cross that gap.

    Being a Christian isn’t about being perfect, none of us can be. It isn’t about being “good” because the nature we inherited is a selfish one. Our purpose is to acknowledge the gap, take responsibility for it, accept the gift Christ gave us, and walk across the bridge. Then, we get to have our relationship with God, we get to know Him better and in knowing Him better, we can achieve our original purpose of glorifying him.

    It could not matter less how big you think the gap between you and God is. It doesn’t matter how far away from the gap you’ve stepped. It doesn’t matter if you can’t see the other side. The sacrifice of Christ was enough to span it. If you’ve never taken a first step onto the bridge before, it can be scary, I’ll give you that. But the moment you do, God gives you a guide, the Holy Spirit, to help you make the journey all the way across. You get an amazing friend in Christ Jesus whose love for you will never be matched by any other and he won’t leave you stranded. He won’t leave you to fight battles on your own. It’s not his way. He gave up too much to ever give up on you.

    Maybe you’re reading this and you’ve been on a journey to get to know Christ better and you just read this far because you liked the way I ramble. Maybe you’re reading this and you started your journey but stopped along the way. Maybe you’re journey back to God has yet to begin. Wherever you are, God will meet you there and guide you back to Him. His grace saves us from ourselves and His spirit guides us back to Him. If you want to start your journey, or need to start it again and need a guided prayer, try this:

    Dear God, I know you are the mighty creator of all things, including me. I know I didn’t commit the original sin, but I haven’t been obedient in my own life and I want to start obeying You and having a relationship with You. I know that You sent Your son to be the sacrifice I could never provide. Thank you and please fill me with Your Holy Spirit so I can be guided back to You, know You better, and bring glory to You. I give You all that I am and ask that You take control of my life and make me all You have intended for me to be. Amen.