The Commands of Christ, Part Twenty-Eight

What matters to you the most? Before you quickly answer with what you know should be the correct answer, take time to think about it. Look at how you plan out your day. You can’t rightfully claim that following God is most important if your day doesn’t start with seeking him, can you? The truth is, from the first sin all the way to the most common sin we see today, the root is our sense of self. It’s no wonder that when Christ tells us what it costs to follow him, the very first part of the order is to deny ourselves. Let’s look at Matthew 16:24 (NASB20)

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wants to come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me.

True discipleship starts with our denial of self. Christ makes it clear in Matthew 19:16-24 just how difficult discipleship can be. Let’s look at the story of the rich young ruler.

And someone came to Him and said, “Teacher, what good thing shall I do so that I may obtain eternal life?” And He said to him, “Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good; but if you want to enter life, keep the commandments.” Then he said to Him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not commit murder; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not give false testimony; honor your father and mother; and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The young man said to Him, “All these I have kept; what am I still lacking?” Jesus said to him, “If you want to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me. But when the young man heard this statement, he went away grieving; for he was one who owned much property. And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I say to you, it will be hard for a reach person to enter the kingdom of heaven. And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.

Does denial of self mean we have to sell everything we own? In our modern world, probably not. But we do need to accept that we are but stewards of anything in our possession here on earth. That means God gets to use it how He sees fit, not how we are willing to let Him. In Luke 8:1-3, we learn that there were those who traveled with Christ and provided out of their own resources. Luke specifically lists Mary Magdalene, Joanna, and Susanna but notes there were “many others.” The rich young ruler had wealth but wasn’t using it for a kingdom purpose. When Christ asked him to sell it all to follow Him, the young ruler’s reaction showed that He valued the wealth over a relationship with Christ. He couldn’t deny himself.

Denial of self might look different for you. It isn’t always a money thing. My family was not poor growing up, but I realized around my early teens that my parents were mostly living paycheck to paycheck. To be clear, all my needs were met. I didn’t do without. My clothes just weren’t always name brand. I seldom had “the latest” of anything. Looking back, I’m glad that’s how I grew up because it made me more attached to the sentimentality of what I received than the cost of what I received. I knew when my parents bought me my car when I graduated high school it wasn’t something they did out of a place of wealth. It was something they saved for, they planned for, it was something they worked with other family members of mine to be able to afford. It wasn’t something shiny or new, it was a 1992 Ford Taurus. I graduated high school in 2001. They thought it would be reliable and big enough for me to haul my friends around to do the various things we enjoyed doing. I was grateful.

For me, the thing I have learned to value the most isn’t money, it’s time. Money serves a purpose for me, but beyond paying for things I need to pay for, I don’t care much about it. That means that, for me, self-denial is less about selling everything I own and more about allowing God to prioritize my time instead of doing so myself. If I prioritize my time, I’ll have time for work, I’ll have time for distractions and entertainment, I’ll have time for hobbies and house projects, but I have not always included time with God or time for God in my list of priorities for a given day. Yes, time with God is not the same as time for God. Let me explain.

When I sit down to read my Bible, to do my personal studies, when I’m praying and seeking to better understand God, to see His wisdom and His will around me so that I might know how to join in with it: that’s time with God. It’s time I’m committing to building my relationship with him. It’s incredibly important to me and I’m ashamed that I do not always make it the priority that it should be. I would have preferred that previous sentence to be solely in past tense, but if I’m honest with myself, I can’t put it there because I still struggle with prioritizing my time with God. He helps me get better, but I can’t fix that denial of self on my own.

When I sit down to work on this Bible study or I lead a class at church, be it Sunday school or a small group, that’s time for God. When I go on a mission trip or when I go to a special event to help my local church: that’s time for God. It’s also important. Time with God helps me understand Him better. Time for God allows me to be a part of how He is reaching others.

When you do your own self-evaluation, you might find it’s something else that is preventing your denial of self. But, at it’s core, denial of self is allowing God to decide your identity instead of seeking it on your own. You cannot seek to be who you want to be and simultaneously seek to be who God wants you to be. You have to pick one. The more you seek your identify within yourself, the less you are seeking your identity in God. That’s why the first step is to deny ourselves.

The next step that Jesus outlines in 16:24 is “take up his cross.” Christ’s purpose was the cross. It is highly unlikely that any of us in the modern world run the risk of getting crucified for following Christ. That wasn’t true for His disciples, Jesus knew that. He wanted them to know that. Saying to take up their cross painted a very visual image of the potential consequences. Just like Christ, the disciples had a purpose. Each was a equipped to share the Gospel in their own unique way, with their own unique voice. Each had a unique mission to accomplish for God and, regardless of the potential consequences, they each set out to do it. That is what it means to take up your cross.

In our modern world, we tend to use the word “crucify” in a more liberal sense. We use it to mean to harshly criticize or punish someone in a very public way. We don’t hang people on crosses anymore. And, it’s in the modern sense, that we as Christians can’t be afraid of crucifixion. As loving and inclusive as I try to be of everyone from every walk of life, at the end of the day I have to love God and them enough to tell them that hell is real and it’s a place of eternal separation from God and that the only way to God is through Christ. If I truly believe everything I claim to believe, I have an obligation to anyone I claim to love to share this message. I can’t be afraid of social media backlash. I can’t be afraid of getting cancelled. I can’t be afraid of what anyone thinks other than God. It roots back to step one: denial of self; I can’t care more about how others view my message than how God does.

We also have to keep in mind, it wasn’t the Romans who insisted on crucifying Christ. It was the Pharisees. There are going to be times that you have to stand up in your local church body and tell them that something they are teaching is wrong. While the proper approach starts in private, you can’t be afraid of your church kicking you out if you know that the message God has given you is one they need to hear. I am blessed to be at a local church body that loves first and forgets to ask questions later. I haven’t always been so blessed. I have been in local bodies where the biggest mistake one could make was to dare to sit in someone else’s seat. But I know that if I were to disagree with my pastor, and if I were to approach him in private about it, he would listen. I know he would admit if he felt he was wrong. I know he would guide me through scripture if he felt I was wrong so that I might get a little wiser in my walk.

It is when we combine our denial of self (seeking our identity through who God wants us to be rather than pursuing who we want to be) and being willing to pursue the purpose God puts before us, regardless of the cost (taking up our cross) that we can finally follow Jesus. Some folks never make it past the first step. Others stare at the purpose God tells them He wants them to follow and step away, they think it’s too big or too much. Let’s revisit the story of the rich young ruler and see how the disciples reacted in verses 25-26:

When the disciples heard this, they were very astonished and said, “Then who can be saved?” And looking at them, Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Any task God puts before you, even something as difficult as fitting a camel through the eye of a needle, God will equip you to perform. One of the core beliefs God has given me is that He only ever needs me to be willing. If I show up willing, He will do the rest. This has held true for mission trips I didn’t think I could ever afford. It has held true for loving children that weren’t born to me but that I was called to love as though they were. It has held true for forgiving things that I felt I could never let go of. It has held true for giving me words to rambletype as I created a Bible study while reading through Matthew and trying to piece together exactly what My Savior expects of me.

Denying ourself is difficult. Picking up our cross and carrying it is difficult. Following Christ is difficult. But when you stand before Him after you leave this world and He smiles and says, “Welcome home!” you won’t regret it.