One of my favorite verses in the Old Testament comes from Jeremiah, chapter 29 verses 11-12 (NASB):
“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me and I will listen to you.”
Just prior to this verse, God, through Jeremiah, is telling Israel that they will spend 70 years in exile in Babylon, but even that time of suffering is part of his plan to make them better. Maybe that seems unfair or manipulative, but if you feel that way, I encourage you to look at all the healthy boundaries God had previously set and Israel ignored, but that’s not what I feel called to make this post about.
Trusting that even in your most difficult times, God is working for your welfare is can be hard. I have never been a subscriber to what you might hear called “prosperity gospel” which teaches that if your faith is strong enough and your works good enough, you’ll see worldly success. Throughout his teachings, Jesus tells us not to focus on worldly things, so that has never added up for me. I’m also not a fan of what I call “despair gospel” which is teaching that we’re all horrific by nature and are only capable of good through God. I structure my beliefs around what I call “companionship Gospel.” I’ll get to that definition later.
In my own walk, I’ve asked God the question, “What do You want from me?” many times, but also in different ways. That’s what I want to discuss with you in this post.
What Do You Want from Me, God! (The Angry Version)
I have been angry at God, and I think that’s a very human thing to do. That doesn’t mean it’s right, but it does mean that if you’ve also been angry with God, He’s not going to hold it against you. My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma early in our marriage. We fought through that and I remember when we went through a relapse scare. I looked up to the heavens and told God that if He took her, I wouldn’t forgive Him. That was wrong and while I’ve repented from that sin, it still haunts me. In my anger, my heart was shouting, “What do You want from me, God!”
It took me realizing I was asking the question to be able to hear the answer. That may sound silly, but I didn’t realize I was asking the question at first, because I wasn’t using those exact words. Once my heart was ready, the answer was pretty clear: God wanted me to trust Him to get my family through the crisis that was about to unfold. He wanted me to trust that my best friend was still there, still holding my hand, still making sure that I made it through anything; that He was constantly working toward my welfare, not my despair.
God always forgave Israel when they would get mad, when they would question, when they would stray. He forgives us too if we ask. That doesn’t free us from causality because every choice we make has a result that follows, but it does mean that God shields us from the worst of it.
There wasn’t a recurrence, just for the record. God was using that one moment to show me just how much I loved my wife and the children she brought with her into our blended family. God doesn’t get mad at us for being human, even when our nature causes us to question Him. If we listen, however, even in our anger, God will tell us or show us how He is working for our welfare.
What Do You Want from Me God? (The Distraught Version)
Remember Job? When I was young, I always though Job got a raw deal. Here was a guy who was literally described as God’s favorite, but God allowed him to undergo trials that nearly destroyed his life. As an adult, I don’t think the lesson of Job comes from how God restored everything Job lost and gave him more exceeding what he lost. I think the lesson of Job comes from how Job, when he felt he’d lost it all, asked God “What did I do wrong?”
Job knew despair and when it came into his life it was so foreign he thought he’d made God angry. He went through an angry phase, demanding answers, and then he wallowed in despair wondering why he didn’t just perish at birth if this was to be his life now. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve had that thought. It’s not a nice one to have in your head.
Job learned through his trials who stood by his side because they cared for him and who stood by his side because he had wealth and influence. Job got the same answer that God still gives today, the same answer we see in Jeremiah: “Trust me, I am working toward your welfare.”
By the end of Job, we see him restored. We see his “friends” that ridiculed and belittled him, accusing him of things he did not do get rebuked. We see God affirm Job’s righteousness. Ultimately, Job said, “Ok, I trust you,” (paraphrasing here) and God showed Job that sometimes, his plans exceed our understanding.
What Do You Want from Me, God? (The Submissive Version)
I can honestly say that this is my favorite way I’ve ever asked God this question and I try to make it the only way I ask Him this question in my current walk.
When I began rebuilding my walk with God and He directed me to the body of believers He wanted me to be a part of, I asked this question daily. “I want to serve You, Lord; what do You want from me?” Eventually, not being sure where He was leading me to serve, I looked up and told God, “The next door You open for me to do Your work, I will walk through without question.” That same week, I walked into Wednesday night service and my pastor said, “You want to go build a house in Mexico this summer?”
I had absolutely no idea how I was going to pay for the trip. I had absolutely no idea how my zero experience in construction was going to be useful in any way. I had no idea how I could make a positive impact on the trip, but I knew what I had told God. So, I said, “yes.” My pastor didn’t know I’d been praying about this until after he’d asked the question.
Next, it was me telling God, “I said, yes, but I have no clue how I’m going to afford it.” God replied, telling me not to worry about the money, He had a plan. Just a couple weeks before the deadline, the plan came through. I told God, “I said yes, but I’m not going to have a clue what I’m doing.” God replied, telling me He didn’t need my skills for this mission trip, He just needed my willingness to go. He’d handle the rest. Each day there was a task that was suitable for me to handle.
Then came the big one: one of the leaders for the mission trip asked if I’d lead a devotion on the first night of the trip. “God, I have no idea how I’m going to do this.” That gentle reminder, “I just need you to be willing, I’ll handle the rest.”
My favorite memories as a Christian, and probably as a human, all come from the moments I looked up to God with a servant’s heart and genuinely, eagerly asked, “What do you want from me, God?” Asking this question with a servant’s heart has allowed God to work in and through me in ways I’d have never thought and that brings me both joy and peace.
What Do You Want from Me, God? (The Repentant Version)
I have no way of knowing if the people (if any) who read this blog know God already or not. I don’t know where you’re at with your walk or where you’re at with your life. I just want you to know that no matter where you are, if you’re asking, “What do You want from me, God?” with a repentant heart because you know you need Him in your life but you feel like you’re too far gone to come back or too far gone to start your journey: you’re wrong. And being wrong about that is the best news I get to share.
Earlier, I talked about prosperity gospel and despair gospel and said we’d get to companionship gospel, which is the version that I believe with all my heart. God didn’t need to create humankind. He wanted to. He chose to make us in His image. He chose to walk with Adam and Eve in the garden and He chose to give us a path back to Him after the first sin created a gap we couldn’t cross on our own.
If you’re asking God what He wants from you with a repentant heart, that answer is pretty easy: He wants you to let Him wrap His arms around you and He wants you to let Him love you. He wants you to build a relationship with Him. He wants you to live in His house and His ways so He can extend His protection around you. He wants you to let Him lead the way and for you to trust Him when He says He is working for your welfare, not calamity, so you can have a future and hope.
He wants that relationship with you so badly that He sent Jesus, part of Himself, to die and rise again so there could be a cross-shaped bridge spanning the gap sin created. He wants it so badly He sends us the Holy Spirit so we can have a conduit directly to Him. He’s loving enough to never force it, but that relationship is what He wants and has wanted since He planned for you to exist in this world. We don’t earn God’s love and we don’t earn salvation. It’s a gift. It’s not something anyone deserves. Since we didn’t earn it and we didn’t do things to deserve it, we never lose the invitation to reach up, grab the Father’s hand and start a relationship with Him.
Starting that relationship with God couldn’t be easier. Just humbly tell Him, “God, I believe that You sent Your son, Jesus, to die and rise again so there would be a way for me to come back to You. I want a relationship with You. I want to know You and I want to serve You. I want to give You what You want from me; my love, my heart, my soul, and my trust. Use my words to share Your word and my hands to do Your work. In the name of Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, I pray, Amen.”
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