Faith Full Circle

I’m a big New Testament fan. I think it does such a beautiful job of expressing God’s love for us but the entire foundation of the New Testament is set in the Old Testament. I think that’s why any time I’m having a crisis of faith, it’s a single verse in the OT that gets me through it.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NASB 2020)

‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ’plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

The last one of these “Reflections” posts was from a pretty rough time for my family. I’m working on doing better about that. In that post I shared a struggle we were having with our foster daughter. She had just been sent to detention and it broke my heart to see her there. Around the same, though not mentioned in that post, I’d begun praying about whether or not God wanted me to go back to Mexico on another mission trip to Juarez with my church to support Casas por Cristo.

God said “Wait.”

I don’t mind so much when God says “no” to things anymore. I’ve learned that’s for my best. But when I prayed about returning for a second mission trip to Mexico, I didn’t get the clarity I got the first time around. If you’ve read my testimony, you know how big of an impact that 2025 trip to Juarez had on my life. When I tell you I was EAGER to go back, it’s an understatement. I could increase that to 100 point font and it would still be an understatement. That closeness I felt on the first mission trip. The sense of purpose. I wanted it again. I was ready. But when I prayed, the answer was “wait.”

If you know me in person, you know that I am a remarkably stubborn individual. So, there I was, still planning to go, thinking “Wait” was just God telling me he wasn’t ready to show me how I was going to get there yet. I know now that he was telling me my next mission trip was going to have to wait.

During all of my praying, instead of obstacles falling away, making the path clear, obstacles sprang up. Things happened; one crisis after another and it all culminated with my foster daughter (whom we still plan on adopting once we can) getting sent to a detention center. I didn’t know what to do or what God was trying to tell me, so I did what anyone feeling lost does. I sent a text to my pastor and asked him to pray for me. When I ask him to pray for me, I like to ask him to remind God I’m a bit of an idiot and need things spelled out for me.

At the time, there was a group form my church doing the Experiencing God Bible study (which is really awesome if you’ve never done it!). My pastor directed me to a specific day of the study and I found myself reading a story about David from 1 Chronicles 14:8-17. In this story, David starts off by asking God for direction and He gives it to him. Then, through David, God achieves a great victory. When a similar situation came up, David went to God again. This time, however, God gave him a different set of instructions.

I asked God to make it super clear (because, again, I’m an idiot sometimes) and he was kind enough to do so. By all the math that I could math, in the best case scenario for my foster kid, she’d be getting out a week before time to go on that mission trip. God made it clear to me that, at the time, my mission wasn’t Mexico, it was a broken little girl who needed a family to show her unrelenting, unfailing love. She needed to feel what it was like to be loved so tenaciously that even a weekly 5 hours in the car wouldn’t stop us from showing it. God still had a mission for me, it just wasn’t Mexico.

The Day Faith Came Full Circle

My wife and I were faithful in the calling to support our foster child. Because she had no one else, her probation officer had graciously agreed to let us be on the visitation list, even though we had no legal right to be on it. Then, for 4 months, we showed up every weekend. I remember the day the look on our daughter’s face shifted. I remember when she went from hoping we would show up to expecting us to show up. I remember when she stopped asking if we would come the next weekend and started asking “when you come next weekend…” questions.

Let me pause to say this: God has delivered me and my family through a great many struggles. There are some we’re still in and he’s pulling us through them. But God asking me to not go on the 2026 Mexico mission trip with my church was the first time I’d ever recalled God giving me an assignment. He’d opened doors in the past, sure, but this was different. It was a clear, “I don’t want you to go do this other good thing right now; I want you doing this good thing.” I’d never had that before. Never had a moment where the Spirit spoke with clear instructions (tell God you’re an idiot enough times and He takes a little pity on you, I think).

Detention was miserable for our daughter. It’s not supposed to be fun, but she was especially miserable. We did what we could to make it more bearable, but through it all, I could tell that it was the fact that we consistently showed up to show her love that was really keeping her hope going. I am convinced that had we not, she’d have given up. While she was waiting for placement in a behavioral rehab center, there was delay after delay. So, I prayed. I am pretty convinced she was praying too.

On May 21, I got a text that changed everything. The behavioral center had been too crowded for too long and everyone, but especially us and our daughter, felt like it was time to let her wait out that placement at home, where she belonged. Her guardian ad litem was going to file a motion for her release to our care and it was expected to have zero resistance. The only catch: someone had to be available to be with her for the first couple of weeks to make sure there were no issues. We were set to pick her up on May 26 and the 2026 Mexico mission trip with my church was set for June 6. And that was the reason God needed me to wait.

I can think of only a few times I’ve bawled out the happy tears: when my biological son was born, when I fumbled through the vows I’d written to my wife, and when I was told my foster child was coming home. It wasn’t just her coming home that brought the tears; it was also that God chose to show me from start to finish a plan and design he had. He asked me to wait. I waited. The reward was one of my kids coming home where she belonged. It wouldn’t have been possible had He not blocked my path and forced me to listen.

A Closing Thought

After all of this, I think back to that first mission trip and something one of the men I’ve grown to look up to had to say. He talked about how he struggled with the decision to go because he felt like he had to make sure he wasn’t just going for an expected blessing. I didn’t get it then, but I do get it now.

It’s common to talk to God in the valley. That’s when we can see our need for Him the most. It’s common to thank Him from the mountain top. That’s when we can see what he’s delivered us from the easiest. But there, in the midst of the climb, I think that’s when we forget sometimes. We forget to ask him which holds to use so we don’t slip and slide down the mountain face. In the climb, we tend to focus on ourselves, but it’s in the climb that God does His best work. That’s where he meets us where we are. He lends us His gear. He makes sure our anchors hold. He holds the rope so that even if we do slip, we never fall far. He gives us moments of relief as we scale the mountain before us so that we can continue His work. The climb is when God gives us His strength because ours would never be enough to get to the top.

But, whether in the valley, on the mountain top, or in the climb, if you listen to what He says and have faith in Him, that faith will get rewarded. And there’s no sweeter thing.